I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
How naked do you want me to be?
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