Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
