i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
