I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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