so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
We named our party play list daddy issues
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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