Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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