She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
