I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
That was before I lit my hair on fire
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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