Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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