i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
false alarm, still single
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