So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
