Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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