I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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