flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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