Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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