Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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