The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan