he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.