did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
