I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
