I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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