marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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