it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
