I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
