no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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