we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
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but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
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Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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