Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
whose parrot is this?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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