Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
