1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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