he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
