What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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