You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i think i have herpe
just one?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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