You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
