ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
