I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
