Kiss
Puke
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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