Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
