I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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