last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
