piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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