he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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