Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
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He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.