i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You ate ashes out of my bong
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