oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
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