I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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