kristin has been a bad kristin
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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