Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
