Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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