would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
