She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
