you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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