THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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