he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
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